Happy Valentine’s Day!  In the spirit of minimalism and the things that really matter in life, my husband and I typically don’t exchange Valentine’s Day presents.  I’ve never personally been a huge fan of Valentine’s Day, or really any holiday that feels somewhat manufactured as an excuse to buy stuff for people who likely don’t need it or want it.  Before you say I sound all negative, let me tell you what I do love about Valentine’s Day.  I love a day like today to remind me to make sure I am sharing my emotions with and spending quality time with the people I love most in this world.  It’s an important day to tell or show people how you feel and that you love them.  That being said, I also think the other 364 days in the year are just as important for that.  Today is just a blatant reminder that’s hard to ignore.

Here are a few minimalism and Valentine’s Day thoughts on my mind…

What is love, really? 

Love is open and honest communication.  Love is showing vulnerability.  Love is putting someone else’s needs above your own.  Love is loving all of someone, and I learned that from John Legend.

And does it cost money to show your love?

I don’t think it does.  But let’s go to a more reputable and established source…according to the popular 5 Love Languages book, it doesn’t have to cost money to show your love.  I spend a lot of time thinking about minimalism and simplicity, yet somehow until this morning I never made the connection between the 5 Love Languages and the alignment to minimalism.  The 5 love languages are:

• Physical Touch
• Words of Affirmation
• Quality Time
• Acts of Service
• Receiving Gifts

I love the fact that 4 of the 5 love languages do not involve spending money.  You can easily do things within all five of these categories that don’t involve spending money, but it’s almost hard to spend money in the first 4 listed above.  I’d encourage everyone to:

• Do the 5 Love Languages quiz yourself, with your kids, or with your partner (there’s a singles version, couple’s versions, teen version, and children’s version). It takes 5 minutes, it’s free, and it’s available online at the 5 Love Languages website.  Do it!
• Share the results with someone who loves you, so they know how to speak to you in your love language. This is one of the most simple and effective things you can do for your relationship.  And the best part is it’s free!
• Think about all of the ways you can show someone your love based on what you now know about them.

Money and Showing Your Love

Yes, there’s a chance your partner’s #1 love language is receiving gifts, but for many people that’s not the case.  And even if it is, there are ways to give gifts without breaking the bank.  Some of the most meaningful and thoughtful gifts are homemade or do not cost very much.  I’m not saying that sometimes it’s not appropriate or nice to give or receive a gift that costs real money. I am saying it doesn’t need to be frequent and it should be something that will truly excite or add value to someone’s life.  And it certainly doesn’t need to be focused on a day of the year when people are supposed to show their love to one another.  My personal favorite gifts are the ones from my husband on random days. Occasions when he saw something he knew I would love or needed, and just bought it for me not tied to any specific holiday or event.  My July 4^th stars and stripes Goodr sunglasses are still one of all-time favorite gifts from my husband.  They cost $25.  He knows I love Goodr sunglasses and he knows I like a good pair of themed sunglasses for running the Atlanta Peachtree Road Race.When he saw that Goodr had come out with a new seasonal design, he ordered them and just gave them to me on a random Tuesday (I have no idea what day of the week it actually was, but I have a 14.28% chance that the day was indeed a Tuesday).  Every time I wear my July 4^th Goodr sunglasses, I think of my husband and smile.

A few quick ideas for things you can do to show some love to someone you love:

• Physical Touch– Give a massage. Do it up right!  Light up a candle, use some good lotion or massage oil, turn the lights down, play some music.
• Words of Affirmation– Write a love letter. Hand-write it on a nice piece of paper and make the presentation as special as you can. Make a PowerPoint presentation of all the reasons you love someone.  Use whatever your superpowers are to make it special.  And if you have no superpowers in this area, phone a friend who has some.
• Quality Time– Block a focused chunk of time to spend together and choose something that they really enjoy doing. If your love is into hiking, then plan a hike and do it up right!  Create an invitation, pick the spot, pre-pack the snacks and supplies, and take care of every little detail.
• Acts of Service– Do all the things they need help with or want you to do and do them proactively without being asked. Before they arrive home that day, come home early and fold the laundry, wash the dishes, clean the bathrooms, make the bed, and have dinner on the table.  Acts of service is one of my highest love languages, so hopefully my husband is reading this one.
• Receiving Gifts – Focus on gifts that the receiver would find useful or enjoyable. Remember that a great gift is always thoughtful but not necessarily expensive or flashy.

A Love Letter to my Husband

One of my husband’s top love languages is words of affirmation, so the best thing I can give him today are some public words of affirmation.  A Love Letter to my Husband…

Dear Mostly Minimal Husband,

I love you so much.  You are an amazing man.  I try to tell you this often, but I may not say it often enough.  You are a great father, a great communicator, a great partner, a fantastic lover (yes I just said that), and the most compassionate person I know.  You make me want to be a better person, which I think is the definition of an all-around awesome human being.  Some people make you want to be better, and some people teach you how not to be.  You’re the good kind!  You’re the person I want to retire with and live in a tiny house with.  That, as you know, is the greatest compliment I can bestow upon anyone. 

I love you, today, always, and forever-ever…

Mostly Minimal Life

Happy Valentine’s Day!

PS – Written while listening to Love in the Future by John Legend

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