The calm after the storm

Usually, it’s the calm before the storm, but in this case, I’m noticing the calm after the storm.  After a full year of virtual learning due to a global pandemic, my kids have gone back for in-person learning.  This is what I have been waiting so patiently for, for their sake and mine.  Today is day 4 of my kids being back in school, and it’s so quiet in my house I am not even sure what to do or how to work.  Suddenly, I am back to having just to manage myself during the day, and it’s a new feeling.  Just managing myself during the day is a new out-of-shape muscle that I need to build back up.

A little over a year ago, I wrote a post about dealing in a virtual schooling world.  I had no idea at the time that this would last an entire year.  Who knew!?  Maybe the CDC knew, but I certainly did not.  We made it through this year, and ultimately we have so much to be thankful for.  There has been a lot of suffering worldwide this past year, and our “first world problems” of kids being at home while we were working remote was not real adversity.  Some days it felt like it was, but we often tried to keep our perspective and be grateful for the extra, albeit unique, time with our kids.  I find it helpful during times of significant change to stop and reflect on what’s happening around me and what I am observing and learning along the way.  Below are my reflections.

The changes I am observing:

• I am working inside my home, and there are several distractions here that aren’t at my office. For example, I go into any room and see things less than perfectly clean and think about how I need to clean the bathroom, do the dishes, or tidy something up.  I don’t have those distractions at the office.  Someone else is cleaning the bathrooms and kitchen at the office.
• I am in a new role at work where I sit in fewer meetings, and I have more time to think, work, and produce. My previous work-life included 30-40 hours of meetings a week and then worked on top of that to reply to emails, create presentations, and manage whatever else I was working on.  Ironically, the fewer meetings mean I need to manage my time better and ensure I am focused and working on the important vs. the urgent.  When I had less time, I was so frantic some days that I didn’t have time to step back and think; I just was trying to play whack-a-mole and put out fires.  Now that I have time to think, I have to prioritize and take the time to think.
• My kids were a distraction from higher-thought work, personally and professionally. This past year of managing work through a pandemic with three kids virtual-schooling at home was an excuse to be reactive for the last year.
• I would sometimes complain about the monotony of many days and our schedules, but I am now seeing I enjoy and appreciate some level of structure. The hours and days were all running together, and we all need and crave some form of structure.  In some ways, I love the flexibility, but some structure is also good.
• Being forced to get up earlier to get my kids off to in-person school makes me more productive throughout the day and gets me on a better schedule. Some days we slept in pretty late because the kids could get themselves up and in front of their computer on their own.  They need some help getting out of the house, and needing to get up and help them helps me get going.  It feels rough in the moment, but ten minutes later, I am awake and happier to be up and about.  I did thoroughly enjoy my year of sleeping in.
• This last year the hours and days all ran tougher, and we spent a lot of time together, but it wasn’t always quality or focused time. Now that they are gone for 6-7 hours during the day, I am more engaged and focused for an hour with them in the afternoon and then in the evenings.  I enjoy my kids more when they leave for part of the day and come back.
• My home is tidier now. My kids make a mess at home during the day, and it was impossible to catch-up with the house being in some reasonable state of order.  I finally feel in charge of my home again!
• I got into some bad habits in the last year. From sleeping in (which I enjoyed, so let’s not call that a bad habit), to working at odd hours, to watching too much TV at night as I was just spent from a day of over-stimulation.  I also had some amazing habits, like I went for a walk almost every day, and my workout schedule has never been so consistent and easy to keep up with.

A few tips for how I am going to manage through this new calm working-from-home environment I find myself in:

• Tidy up the house each night before I go to bed. This way, I can wake up, get the kids off to school, and then I can start working free of the distractions of a messy house.  I have a self-diagnosed unofficially form of OCD that’s known as “I can’t work in a messy house.”
• Write a list the night before of the top things I need to accomplish that day and get started on them first thing in the morning.
• Leverage this new calm to do the essential proactive work, personally and professionally. Push forward on the things that matter to me in life.
• Embrace the good parts of the structure, and balance it with the flexibility I love and desire. It’s okay and recommended to go for a run before my first meeting or during lunch.  I don’t want to lose this part I enjoy, but I will mix in this flexibility with putting good habits into practice.
• Make my time with the kids more thoughtful and focused. Now that they are gone for 6-7 hours during the day, I am already noticing I am more engaged with them in the afternoon and evenings. 
• Keep all the good parts and leave behind all of the bad parts. Ha, I wish it were just that simple.

This storm has been rough for many.  We’ve all had our versions of challenges and adversity during the last year, and mine has paled in comparison to many around the world.  Millions have lost their lives.  Millions have lost a close family member or friend.  Millions have lost their livelihoods.  It seems we’re finally rounding a corner to have a line of sight into the end if there even is an actual end.  And in that end, there will be calm after this storm.  What will you learn from this storm?  What will you do with any newfound calmness that comes your way?  I encourage you to take a moment to sit with the calm, reflect on the last year, and be thoughtful on how you move forward from here.  May the calm be with you!

Written while listening to Beautiful Mistakes by Maroon 5 and Megan Thee Stallion

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