Start less, finish more

I am really good at starting things.  I am less good at finishing things.  I am a serial starter and a pretty good finisher.  I have so many ideas, feel very capable of doing most things, and I like to DIY a lot of things – these three things are the perfect storm of a serial starter who never has enough time to finish all of the ideas.  Sometimes my “starting” never gets further than writing it on my to-do list or an idea list, and sometimes that is okay.  It’s okay to let an idea marinate for a while, and if I am still excited about it in a few weeks, then perhaps it’s worth fully starting and then seeing it through.  Most people I know personally and professionally probably think I am pretty good at finishing things because I am good at follow-through when I commit something to someone else.  But they likely don’t see the number of ideas I have and how many of them I start and never finish.

I just spent almost four days straight working on a mailbox during every free moment.  I was laser-focused on finishing it, and I put everything else not critical to the side for a few days, and I finished it.  And it felt terrific.  It reminded me how good it feels to finish things.  I’m pretty proud of my personally designed and hand-built mailbox, mostly made from scrap and reclaimed wood, so a photo of my new mailbox baby is below.  My point is I was focused, and I didn’t let other things distract me, and I finished it.  And it felt good. 

I want to remember what finishing feels like because that memory reminds me to start fewer things and finish more things.

These are my reflections and commitments to start less and finish more:

• Let things marinate for a while. I want to start to create a holding list on my ever-growing long list of to-do items and ideas.  Often my thoughts and ideas just end up on my to-do list, but really, they should have to marinate for a while first.   Except for something urgent or requested by someone else at work, I want to let new ideas simmer or marinate for a while before I act on them.  This approach will give me time to see if the excitement subsides or if it increases.  I’ll see if I stop thinking about the idea or if I can’t stop thinking about it. 
• Start fewer things. Finishing more things was one of my reflections when I turned 40, which I wrote about eight months ago.  I said, “I want to start fewer things and finish more things.”  And I knew the answer then, but I’m not sure I’ve cracked the net since then.  I just need to start fewer things, and I’ll finish more things.  It sounds so simple when I say it like that. 
• One thing at a time. I commit to finishing things I’ve started before I can take on something new.  Another way of saying this is to limit the number of different things I will work on at once.  I can only do so many different things well at once, so I need to quit starting new things when I have five other half-finished endeavors.  I’ll write down an idea, start doing a couple of things on it, then move on to something else that seems more exciting at the moment.  If it makes it off my to-do list and I start working on something, I want to commit that I will finish it before starting something new.  Thinking of things this way will motivate me to finish things, as I can’t start something new until I finish what I’ve started.  It might seem like a small example, but writing posts for this blog is a good example.  I’ll have an idea for a post, start writing some thoughts on it, and then never have or make time to finish.  Then I’ll have another idea the next day, and then another.  The next thing I know, I have 100 ideas written down, 20 of them started, and none of them finished.  The new rule is I can put it on my idea or marination list, but I can’t start on it until I finish whatever else I’ve already started.  This feels like a solid rule.  And this rule needs to be applied thoughtfully as sometimes I can do multiple things at once, but the issue is within the same category.  I can only listen to or read one book at once.  But I can be listening to a book and working on a new podcast episode idea, as they are discrete activities that happen during different times of the day.  Reading a book is something I do for relaxing while writing a podcast outline is a passion project or in my work or productivity category. 
• Quit when I know it’s not worth finishing. I don’t like to quit things I commit to, but that’s quite different than thoughtfully deciding something is no longer worth my time.  And it’s significantly different when it’s something with myself vs. a commitment I’ve made to someone else. One of my favorite books of all time is The Dip by Seth Godin.  The full title is pretty descriptive of what the book is about: The Dip: A Little Book That Teaches You When to Quit (and When to Stick).  It’s such a great book, and I won’t do it justice trying to explain it, but the big idea is in the title, and it’s a quick read, so I highly recommend you check it out.  It will remind you when to quit and when to stick with things.  It’s okay to quit some things, and sometimes it’s the right thing to do to quit something and decide not to finish.  Knowing when to quit is the key.  I tend to know when to quit, but I need to remind myself sometimes and be more conscious.  I might re-read this book sometime soon, as although I know when to quit, I might need some friendly reminders.  The other day I found myself reading a book that I just wasn’t enjoying, and I noticed I felt obligated to finish the book because I started it.  This is the perfect example of when I should just quit with zero feelings of guilt.  I am hurting absolutely no one by quitting reading a book, but it’s weird how I have to check my feelings of obligation and remind myself it’s okay to quit. 
• Prioritize. I recently started re-using a digital template that helps me to better plan out and prioritize my days, weeks, and months.  I’ve used it before but gotten out of the habit.  It helps me to think ahead and be more thoughtful and intentional in how I spend my time.  Without this, I start each day and begin haphazardly responding to emails, working on whatever is most top of mind (which isn’t always what is most essential or time-sensitive), and adding more random ideas to my to-do list.  As I let various ideas go into my marination list, I need to sit back and review them every week or so and decide what to prioritize, what I should set out to pasture, and what I marinate on a bit longer. 
• Celebrate my finishing. I will reward myself emotionally and physically for finishing things.  I’ll reward myself emotionally by thinking kind and positive thoughts towards myself when I finish something and physically will likely involve chocolate or a hot bath, or perhaps both.  My point is I need to take a moment to recognize and celebrate the wins. 
• Turn off the TV. It’s incredible what I can finish when I don’t watch TV one evening.  I like TV, and it truly relaxes me, but in moderation.  No TV nights are super productive at my house.  TV is sort of like unhealthy food.  It feels really good in the moment, but the next day I feel better if I got things done and ate healthy.  I don’t wake up thinking, “gosh, all that TV last night is still making me feel good right now.”  I do wake up thinking, “gosh, it felt so good to be so productive last night.”  Same thing with food.  Junk food feels amazing in the moment, but then an hour later, I feel worse physically and emotionally. Okay, now I am hungry and want to watch TV.
• Find some solitude. When I need to finish something, I notice I am better working on something alone or in a small group.  I need alone time to focus.  I am easily distracted by other people.  If my husband is gone for the night, which rarely happens, I am immensely productive.  Why is this?  I have no idea, but it’s an interesting phenomenon I want to understand better.  I can’t make other people leave my house, but I can go and find some solitude to finish the things I want to finish.   
• Done is better than perfect. I am a perfectionist, and I likely have some sort of undiagnosed OCD.  I am very self-aware of all these things.  I always want things to be perfect, but the more I let go of that feeling and realize things don’t have to be perfect, the more I can move through things more quickly and without overcomplicating them.  Some things do need to be perfect, and I take pride in a job well done.  But many things just need to be done, and good enough.  And that’s okay.  I need to keep saying this to myself and permit myself to know that getting something done is better than it being perfect.  There’s no such thing as perfect anyway.  It’s a construct I’ve created in my head.  I sometimes need to lower my standards.

And on that note, I’ll wrap this up.  I could sit here and try to think of more insights and commitments related to how I start too many things and don’t finish enough, but this is a solid list, and it’s “good enough” for me.  So, I shall finish this thing I’ve started.  And then, I will use that momentum to celebrate the win, prioritize what’s next, and finish that one thing. 

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Written while listening to Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes

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